What if
by Emisonismylife
Summary: They promise each other they were in it together, no matter what. What happens when four years after breaking that promise an unexpected event brings Emily back to Rosewood? How will Ali handle it? Will they get back together?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello guys, so this is my first emison fanfic. It follows the PLL storyline all the way up to 7x16 and after that it's my take on the story which is sort of AU. This story is full of angst and drama but I promise you'll like the ending. Any way without further ado I hope you enjoy it and remember to leave your thoughts on the review section...**

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The blonde watched him run around Spencer's backyard and she couldn't help the smile that seemed to take up half of her face as he squealed when Marco catched up to him, picking him off the ground and sending him to a cascade of laughter. She couldn't believe how big he was getting, it felt like it was yesterday that she was holding him for the very first time in that dim lit hospital room. But here they were sitting in Spencer's backyard while her son played with her friend's boyfriend.

"Still reminiscing?" Spencer eyed the blonde, before she sat down next to her on the terrace, placing a plate of cookies in front of her.

"I just can't believe he turned four last week" Alison smiled, turning over to face her friend "He's all grown up"

"Ali he's four, not eighteen"

"I know it's just that he was my baby…" The blonde sighed "He was the size of my forearm"

"Yeah well we'd have a problem if he was still that size" The brunette mocked and Alison chuckled, before they saw the little boy heading straight towards them as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"Mommy!"

"Hey bud, are you done playing with Uncle Marco?" Alison wrapped her arms around her son, placing a kiss on top of his brown hair, while Marco walked back inside, Spencer following close behind.

"No" Jamie giggled "He just went to get some watew" he stumbled over his r, since he hadn't the sound down quite yet.

"Water buddy" Alison corrected, as her son climbed onto her lap smiling fondly at him.

God, he looked so much like Emily. He had her eyes and her smile, and there was a little part of her that hated it because it reminded her of everything that had happened, everything they'd been through.

"That's what I said" He argued "Can I have a cookie?" he pleaded.

"Just one" The little boy

smiled before throwing himself towards the plate, grinning at his mother once the cookie was in his mouth.

"Jamie, are you ready for another round?" Marco called out coming back into the garden, Jamie jumping back into his feet, Alison's eyes following him as they ran into the grass.

"You have to stop thinking about her" Spencer sat in front of her friend.

"What?" The blonde frowned taken aback by the brunette's question.

"You know who I'm talking about, the way you look at him changes when you're thinking of her" Spencer explained, looking back to the garden where her boyfriend played with the four year old, "I don't blame you, he does look like her but she's not worth it Ali"

"I'm not thinking of her" Alison rolled her eyes "I'm just ' _reminiscing',_ okay? I just miss when he was a baby"

"Ali-" Spencer wasn't able to finish her sentence when her house's landline rang "We are not done talking about this" she warned before she walked inside to get the phone. Leaving the blonde alone once again, leaving her alone with her thoughts, and the blonde knew Spencer was right. She shouldn't be thinking about her not after all these years but she couldn't help it, she couldn't help but wonder how different her life would be if she had stayer. If Emily hadn't ran away.

Alison was abruptly interrupted from her thoughts when she heard Spencer walk back outside, but she could sense something was different. Wrong. Her eyes were blank and her features were pale.

"Spence? Is everything okay?" The blonde stood up immediately, "What is it Spencer?" she urged.

"It was the police…" Spencer muttered "Toby is dead"

-x-

The brunette stared out from the taxi's window, staring at the houses as they flashed by. It had been ages since she had even been near Rosewood and quite honestly she didn't want to come back, but she had too. Toby was her friend, at some point he had even been her best friend; so when she got the call she drove to LAX and hopped on the first plane to Philly. Nevertheless, she couldn't quite wrap her mind around the fact that he was dead, all it took was a dear on the middle of the road and puff he was gone.

That however, wasn't what had her heart beating furiously in her chest. She was going to see them, all of them, including Alison for the first time in four years. It had been four years since she walked out on the best thing that had ever happened to her, four years since she had seen or heard her wife, well now ex-wife. The last she heard of them was a passive aggressive email from Hanna that had attached a picture of their newborn baby boy wrapped in a hospital blanket, which made her heart swell. Because she hadn't only walked out on Alison but on their son too and it killed her to think of what she had done, but it was necessary, she had done what she needed to survive.

 _ **Emily stared at her phone's screen staring intently at the picture and she felt her eyes water. She knew who the baby was, but she couldn't keep her eyes on the screen for long, not after she read Hanna's email. It had barely been two months since she left and she couldn't bring herself to go back home, not after everything that had happened.**_

" _ **Coach Fields?" A voice brought the brunette out of her hypnotic state, looking up she found one of the members of her team standing in the doorway with her UCLA uniform.**_

" _ **Yeah?"**_

" _ **We're waiting for you in the pool"**_

The car doubled on the corner of the street and Emily felt chills run down her spine as she passed the familiar house.

"Visiting family?" The taxi driver eyed the brunette through the rear view mirror.

"Umh… no, a funeral actually"

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that" He turned on the corner again "I'm sorry for your loss"

"Thank you" Emily sighed, as the driver pulled over in front of the Radley.

"Well here we are, that would be $20.75" He smiled taking the cash from the brunette's hand, "Good luck"

"Thanks, I'll need it" Emily whispered as she got off the cab, standing in front of the Radley, and she couldn't help but remember what Spencer saying ' _All roads lead back to Radley'_ and apparently she was right.

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 ** _So that's the first chapter. Not to long I know but I promise the next one will be longer. Also I promise everything will be explained._**

 ** _See you for chapter 2,_**

 ** _Han_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello people,**

 **First of all I want to thank all of you for the amazing support the first chapter got, second I promise everything will be answered and finally this chapter is a little longer as promised. So I hope you enjoy it...**

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Alison and Aria watched her friend look herself up and down in the mirror. Spencer had been standing in front of it for about twenty minutes and neither had said a word because they were too afraid that their friend would break. After Spencer received the call from the police everything had gone south. The brunette had said two words since then and both of them had been directed to Jamie, so both Aria and Alison had promised Marco they would make sure Spencer was ready for the funeral while he watched Alison's son.

"Spence" Aria stood up from her place at the edge of the bed "Are you ready to go?"

The brunette turned around to face them before she looked back to the mirror, sighing "I don't know"

"Okay, well do you want something?" Alison smiled fondly placing her hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"No" Spencer whispered "Where's Marco?"

"He's downstairs with Jamie" Alison stated "Do you want me to go get him?" The brunette nodded, her eyes once again filling up with tears, however not a single one had ran down her cheeks. Not one. At least not in the last forty-eight hours Toby had been dead.

Alison found Marco in the kitchen trying to fix her son's shoelace while the little boy sat in the counter in front of him. "Marco, Spencer is asking for you"

He turned around surprised eyeing her carefully as if trying to figure out why his girlfriend wanted him since she had yet to talk to him, "Don't worry, I'll take care of this" She placed her hand on his shoulder giving him a nudge towards the stairs, before she watched him disappear.

Alison stood in front of her four year old staring at him intently, and it was in that moment that it hit her. Death. How fast it could change things, how in a blink of an eye everything could change. It was then that a tear ran down her cheek because the simple thought of something happening to her little boy scared the life out of her.

"Mommy, why are you cwying? Are you sad?" Jamie pressed his little hand to his mother's cheek.

"Yeah buddy, but you don't have to worry" She said smiling sadly, "I'm just going to miss Toby"

"Why won't he come back? Can I bwing him back? Will you stop cwying?" He asked his deep brown eyes glued to her.

"No, monkey." She tied his shoelace. "He's in a better place now."

"But I don't want you to be sad." he hummed. "Why did he have to leave?"

"Well, sometimes certain people need to go and now it was Toby's turn"

"So he doesn't want to come back? Even if he makes you and aunt Spencer feel better?" Jamie looked up to his mother with expectant eyes.

"Once you get to this place there is no way you'd want to leave, because everyone is really happy there" She said poking his stomach, helping him jump off the counter.

"Can I go there?"

"No, no for a very long time sweetie" Alison kneeled in front of him, "Now come on give me a hug before uncle Jason gets here to pick you up" Jamie grinned before he wrapped his tiny arms around her.

"Mommy?" Jamie whispered in her ear.

"What is it buddy?" The blonde broke the hug both of her hands still on the little boy's shoulders.

"You're not going to leave like uncle Toby?" He asked, and Alison's heart throbbed because of how he was looking at her.

"No baby" The blonde squeezed his arms, before she pulled him back into her embrace, "Not for a really long time"

"You pwomise?"

"I do" Alison smiled against his hair before they heard the doorbell. "And that must be your uncle Jason"

Taking her son's hand she stood up heading for the door. Even though the little boy had refused to leave, claiming that he wanted to go with them, Alison had called her brother so she could watch Jamie while they went to the funeral and of course he had been more than happy to comply. Ever since Emily had left Jason and the girls had been the blonde's support system, to a point where Jason had been the first one to hold Jamie when he was born.

" _ **I think there's someone who wants to meet his uncle" The nurse smiled as she walked over to the nervous man standing in front of her, the few minutes old baby boy in her arms.**_

" _ **I've never held a baby before" Jason awkwardly muttered not sure what to do.**_

" _ **It's not hard, you just have to make sure you're holding his head properly" The nurse reassured taking a step closer to the brunette, who was standing stiffly still in his hospital scrubs. "It'll be okay, I promise."**_

 _ **Before he could even react the nurse was slowly placing his nephew in his arms. The infant squirmed as the nurse carefully moved her hand off his little head. "There you go that wasn't that hard now was it?" she smiled.**_

" _ **Am I doing it right?" Jason inquired not taking his eyes off the baby in his arms.**_

" _ **Just fine"**_

" _ **Hey champ" Jason whispered at the newborn in his arms, as the baby's eyes gradually opened, "I'm your uncle Jason"**_

The moment the blonde opened the door the little boy sprung into his uncle's arms with a high pitched ' _Uncle Jason_ ' and the older man immediately wrapped his arms around him.

"I'm happy to see you too, champ"

"Thank you for coming" Alison stated as her brother placed the little boy back on the ground.

"What are you talking about, that's what I'm here for remember?" Jason smiled enveloping his sister in a hug, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine considering, I'm just worried about Spencer" The blonde sighed "She's a mess"

"Mommy?" Jamie pulled on Alison's blouse, "When am I leaving with Uncle Jason?"

"In a minute sweetie"

"But why?" Jamie frowned

"Hey why don't you go get your stuff, while I talk to your mom?" Jason offered before the little boy nodded hesitantly and ran back inside.

"I'm really sorry for you loss Ali, I know you two weren't very close but still"

"It just seems surreal" The blonde ran her hand through her hair "He's gone, just like that. All it took was a freaking dear on the road"

"I know" Jason comforted not being able to find the right words.

"I can't even begin to imagine how Spencer's feeling" Alison sighed closing her eyes, "And I feel like I should be doing something to make it better"

"There's not much you can do, besides just being there for her" Jason exhaled as he saw his nephew running back towards the door with his back-pack, "I'll take care of Jamie for as long as you need, don't worry about him"

"Mommy I put my back-pack on by myself" The four year old smiled proudly once he reached his mother.

"I can see that" Alison kneeled down in front of him "Be good for your uncle Jason okay?" she added as she hugged her son tightly.

"I promise mommy"

"Have fun, I'll see you tomorrow" She stood back up placing a kiss on top of his head, before Jamie took Jason's hand following him back to his uncle's car. Alison closed the door behind her sighing, she slowly made her way back up the stairs. Not quite sure if she was ready for the day she had ahead of her.

-x-

Her leg bounced up and down nervously as she sat in the lobby waiting. To be honest she wasn't quite sure what to expect nor was she sure how exactly her friend had gotten her number, but either way here she was sitting rather patiently waiting.

"Emily…"

The brunette turned around to find Hanna standing next to the sofa she was sitting in, her hair was shorter that what she remembered, and she seemed thinner in the back dress she was wearing "Hanna, you're here"

"Yeah, well I asked you to be here, what did you expect?" The blonde exhaled rather harshly.

"How did you know I was here?" The brunette asked as the blonde sat adjacent to her.

"My mom practically runs the place, you really thought you could sneak back into town without anyone knowing?" Hanna looked around trying her best to keep her voice at a reasonable tone.

"I… umh-" The brunette stumbled over her words not sure what to say.

"And to think you had four years to think what to say to us, but yet again maybe you were only thinking of yourself again"

"What is your problem? If you were only meeting me to scream at me you shouldn't have called" Emily barked standing up.

"What's my problem?!" Hanna stood up next to her "My problem is you left, you left and broke Alison's heart! You left without looking back, without even saying goodbye" She screamed "Why did you come back?"

The brunette was taken aback by Hanna's harsh words, "Because Toby died"

"Oh because you cared"

"You have no idea what I care and don't care about" Emily snapped feeling herself get angrier.

"You're right there, you've surprised us in the past" The blonde said daringly, she so desperately wanted to hit a nerve. She wanted to hurt Emily for everything she had done, for leaving Alison and Jamie behind; and quite honestly for leaving her behind as well.

"What do you want Hanna?" The brunette sighed.

"You can't go to Toby's funeral" Hanna stated.

"What?" Emily let out an irritated chuckle.

"You're not going. I'm not going to let you hurt her again"

"Hanna I'm not here to see her" Emily stated trying her best to avoid her name, "I'm here because Toby died, I'm here to pay my respects"

"What do you think will happen when she sees you? Huh? It took her a long time to get herself together, and I'm not going to let you ruin that" Hanna meant it, she saw how broken her friend had been when the brunette standing in front of her left and even though Alison had instantly put on a facade that she was fine they all knew how shattered she was.

Emily knew she was right, she shouldn't have come back because if Hanna thought that seeing her would break the blonde, she had no idea the impact Alison was going to have on the brunette. But she was here, she had come a long way and she wasn't going to back down now. She came for Toby's funeral and that's what she was going to do.

"I'll see you at the funeral Hanna" With that she turned around and walked out, not looking back.

-x-

The room was full of people, crowded to a maximum and Alison felt like she was about to suffocate, but she couldn't bring herself to leave Spencer alone. They were currently sitting in the tiny living room arrangement in the back, while everyone took their turn to hug and give their condolences to Toby's grieving father and girlfriend.

"I'm gonna go get some water" Marco stood up, "Anyone want some?"

"No than-" Aria stopped mid sentence when she spotted her long lost brunette friend in the crowd, "You know what? I could use a glass of water, what about you Han?"

"I'm fine" Hanna assured before Aria kicked her under the coffee table making her let out a stifled groan, "but yeah I'd like a glass of water"

"Ali you should go help Marco" Aria nodded "He won't be able to carry all those glasses back here"

"I…" The blonde began before she was interrupted by Aria.

"Go now, don't be rude" The petite brunette insisted nudging her friend to stand up.

"Okay" The blonde agreed eyeing her friends suspiciously before she walked away with Marco.

"What was that all about?" Spencer asked after being quiet during this whole interaction.

"Emily's here" Aria sighed.

"What? Where?" Spencer asked looking through the crowd.

"I can't believe she actually came, after our talk this morning" Hanna muttered under her breath.

"What did you just say?" Spencer turned around shocked

"Nothing"

"Hanna, I heard you" Spencer eyed her friend dangerously.

Knowing she was not going to get away with it the blonde exhaled "My mom called me last night after Em checked herself in"

"You knew?" Aria's eyes opened wildly in shock "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I thought I could handle it myself and Spencer didn't need something else to worry about"

"Well although I'm thankful you thought of me, I'm not who is actually at risk of getting hurt here" Spencer stated, looking around to make sure Alison wasn't on her way back yet. "Besides when did you talk to her?"

"This morning… I went to see her, I thought maybe I could convince her not to come"

"Well you did a fine job apparently" Spencer rolled her eyes.

"What are we going to do?" Aria inquired "We can't let her see Emily"

"It might be a little too late for that" They heard a voice exhale behind them, turning around they found an empty handed Marco who simply just pointed back. Where Alison and Emily stood face to face for the first time in four years.

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 **So that's chapter 2, see you soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So it's almost a week after the finale and I am still completely shattered, this show has been a part of my life for the last five years and it has been really hard to say goodbye. However, I do hope this chapter can give some of you a little relief during this ever lasting pll hiatus.**

 **I hope you like it...**

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She stormed out of the building before she could even realize what she was doing, her eyes were swimming in tears, her heart was pounding furiously in her chest and her mind was running at a hundred miles an hour. Not a single word had been muttered and the only thing that she took from this little impromptu meeting was the sting in her right hand after it had clashed against the brunette's left cheek.

This couldn't be happening, she couldn't be back. Not after all these years. She could physically feel her heart breaking all over again, and she didn't really understand why though. It had been four years since it happened, four years since she walked into her empty room.

 _ **To her surprise the house was pitch black, not a single light was on. Walking inside she took off her coat hanging it next to the door like she always did, but something felt odd. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a dim ray of light coming from upstairs, sighing she made her way up. To be completely honest she wouldn't be surprised if she found Emily asleep on the nursery's floor, just last week she had found her passed out on her back next to a bucket of paint. So when she walked through the door and found her son's nursery empty her felt her heart beat a little bit faster. A.D had been MIA for the last couple of days but she couldn't help but grow concerned at the simple thought of that maniac hurting her fiancé.**_

 _ **Therefore, as fast as her ever growing bump would allow her to run she rushed downstairs, expecting to find a bloodbath in their room but what she found hit her way harder. Turning on the light she found the closet doors wide open displaying the emptiness within them, socks and clothing items were scattered around the floor but what caught her eye was the ring in the dresser. Emily's engagement ring.**_

 _ **She felt the air fighting to make its way to her lungs, her heart beating furiously and her heart break into a million pieces. She was gone.**_

"Alison" Aria called out as she approached the blonde from behind, who by now was practically hyperventilating. "Hey, hey… breathe"

"Emily's here" Alison exhaled.

"I know"

"I slapped her" The blonde sighed

"I know that too"

"I slapped my ex-wife in a funeral" Alison panted "I… what is she doing here? Why is she back?" A tear ran down her cheek.

"She's probably only back because of Toby's funeral" Aria placed her hand on the blonde's arm taking her over to the nearest bench. "You don't have to worry, everything's going to be okay"

"I haven't seen her since she left" Alison whispered

" _ **What?"**_

" _ **She's gone" Alison whispered slumping down on the couch.**_

" _ **I don't get it" Hanna shaked her head**_

" _ **There's not much to get Hanna. She's gone" The blonde snapped "Her clothes are gone and so are the rest of her things, this is the only thing she left behind" she waved the diamond ring in the air.**_

" _ **Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening" Hanna sat down next to her pregnant friend, "Have you tried calling her?"**_

" _ **Of course she's tried Hanna" Spencer rolled her eyes, "Is there anything we can do?"**_

" _ **She's gone… We're having a baby and she's gone"**_

"If you don't want to see her again you don't have to, you don't own her anything" Aria gently squeezed the blonde's thigh.

"That's not true" Alison exhaled looking down at the ground, "She's the reason I have Jamie"

-x-

"What are you doing here?" Hanna barked "Wasn't I clear this morning?!"

"I told you I was here to pay my respects" Emily snapped her hand still on her throbbing left cheek, "I didn't want to see her anymore than she wanted to see me"

"God, I didn't remember you being such an ass" Hanna hissed under her breath but loud enough so that Emily could hear.

"Look Emily what Hanna is trying to say is that you shouldn't be here" Spencer intervened before they quite possibly got into a screaming match, "We can't say Alison was happy to see you"

"I guessed that much" Emily rolled her eyes "Look I'm leaving tomorrow, so you don't have to worry about us bumping into each other again"

"That's good, you should get out of here too" Spencer nodded, "Before Ali gets back"

"Why should I leave? Why doesn't she leave?"

"Because you left first" Spencer stated harshly, eyeing Emily dangerously. Which caused the brunette to turn back around heading towards the door.

"Emily" Hanna called out and the brunette stopped dead in her tracks "Don't come back"

As Emily walked down the funeral home's hallway a few tears ran down her cheeks, as her mind kept going over the same thought over and over again what if? What if she hadn't left? What if she had talked to Alison instead of running away? What if she had stayed and been a part of her son's life? Her son. She hadn't really thought about him, she hadn't even seen a picture of him since he was a baby and after how things had gone down today she didn't really think she would be seeing him anytime soon. And there was a part of her that desperately wanted to see him, to meet him, but she made a decision four years ago and this was her consequence.

-x-

"What are you doing here?" Jason asked running his hand through this hair as he stared between his watch and his sister. "I thought you were coming to pick him up until tomorrow"

"I know, I just miss him" Alison sighed, after the funeral Spencer, Aria, Hanna and Alison had gone out to get dinner purposely trying to take the blonde's mind off Emily. However, her mind was not really focused on the brunette but on their son. So when Caleb called Hanna to let her know he had a poop explosion in their loft after their ten month old daughter got away from him Alison took her chance to escape. Driving directly to Jason's apartment where her four year old was supposed to spend the night.

"Spencer called" Jason sighed, "She told me about Emily"

"Is that why you're here?" Jason added when his little sister looked away.

"Do I need a reason to want to spend the night with my son?!" The blonde snapped.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Come on in" Jason stepped away from the door.

"Thank you" Alison nodded, making her way into the apartment.

"He's in my room" Jason called out and the blonde made her way to his room. She found her son was sound asleep in Jason's bed and he looked so small all curled up under the blankets. Carefully she sat next to him doing her best not to wake him, running her hand through his hair. It was moments like this when she missed those quiet moments when he was a baby. She never really understood how women could be so obsessed with a baby, a little person that did absolutely nothing but eat and sleep. Nevertheless, the moment Jamie had been born it all made sense, everything just clicked.

 _ **The bright pale hospital light made the little boy scream even louder as he was carried across hospital room, only calming down once he was placed on his mother's arms for the very first time. His mother who stared intently at the tiny newborn in her arms, as he slowly opened his eyes and the blonde felt herself fall in love with him instantly. However, the blonde couldn't move nevertheless utter a single word. Yet, the silence made the three women standing next to the hospital bed's hearts beat nervously in their chest.**_

" _ **Ali…" Spencer quietly whispered leaning forward to get the blonde's attention. However, the look on her friend's face said more than a thousand words, her eyes were full of hope for the very first time since Emily left two months ago.**_

" _ **Are you okay?" Hanna inquired.**_

" _ **Look at him" The blonde choked out "He's perfect" she added looking back down at her son, the little boy who stole her heart the minute she saw him, the moment she first held him.**_

" _ **He's worth it" Alison whispered "You guys were right, he's worth everything that has happened"**_

 _ **The three girls sighed in relief, because they were worried how the blonde was going to react to the baby being born. Due to the fact that Emily had been the one that got her on board with the whole baby idea and well Emily was gone.**_

" _ **So you're happy?"**_

" _ **The happiest"**_

"Mommy?" Jamie stirred awake.

"Hi monkey, go back to sleep" Alison smiled down at her little boy.

"Why awe you here?" He mumbled sleepily

"I just missed you" The blonde continued to slowly caress his brown hair,

"I missed you too"

"Go back to sleep, I'll see you tomorrow" Alison leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Stay, please"

"Monkey…"

"Please mommy" Jamie said rolling to his left so his mother could lay down next to him.

"Okay" The blonde gave in laying down next to him and as soon as Jamie felt the weight of his mother next to him he snuggled up to her, placing his head on her chest.

-x-

"I'll call you back Jen, the bellman is here" Emily said hanging up the phone before she opened the hotel room's door. After the unforeseen meeting with a certain blonde Emily had left the funeral, not really up to getting into a fight with either Spencer or Hanna and as promised she was taking the first flight back to LA. However, she had spent all night thinking of her; Alison. She was just as beautiful as she had ever been, her hair, her smile, all the things that had made her fall in love with her were all there, better and improved.

"Emily Fields?"

The brunette turned around to find Samara standing behind her, "Samara"

"How have you been?" The blonde wrapped the brunette in a quick hug, "It's been ages"

"I'm good, how about you?" Emily walked through the elevator doors, Samara following close behind.

"I've been great, I just got back from Chicago"

"Chicago? Wow I didn't know you lived there" Emily smiled

"Yeah, for the last five years" Samara rearranged her purse, "I've been working in a law firm there, but I just got a job here. What are you doing here?"

"A friend of mine died" Emily exhaled "The funeral was yesterday, so I'm going back home today"

"I'm so sorry for your loss" The blonde smiled empathetically, "I wish we could have met under better circumstances, you know? Have a chance to catch up. You look great"

"You're not too shabby yourself" Emily blushed, walking into the lobby, "Any way, it was nice to run into you"

"Same here" Samara said "We should get dinner, if you're ever back in town"

"Will do" The brunette nodded, before she walked out of the Radley. Intently watching the bellman load the taxi with her stuff.

The street looked all the same and if she hadn't been away for so long she could swear she would see her and her teenager friends back in their A days walking down the street. Nevertheless something caught her eye, no not something someone. Alison was walking down the street, yet that wasn't what got her attention. It was the child next to her that made her heart drop to the floor.

" _ **Who is that? It's so cute" The girl, who's name Emily wasn't very sure of, cooed at the picture in the brunette's phone. The same picture Emily had been staring at for the last half hour, to be honest it felt like she had been staring at it practically non-stop for the last forty eight hours since she got it.**_

" _ **It's uhm…" The brunette hesitated not quite sure how she should refer to the baby in the picture, from her place on the edge of the bed as the blanket wrapped naked woman on the other side of the bed pressed herself against her back.**_

" _ **It looks like you."**_

" _ **He" Emily stated dryly.**_

" _ **What?"**_

" _ **He. It's a boy"**_

The little boy was holding Alison's hand while he looked at her in awe, a gigantic smile plastered across his face, and it was then that it hit her. She wanted that, she wanted the laughter, the hand holding, the smiling but most of all she wanted him to look at her the way he was looking at the blonde. She wanted to be a part of his life.

So she waved to the bellman before she made her way back into the hotel, finding Samara still standing in the lobby. "Hey, I thought you were leaving"

"Not yet. There are still some things I have to do before I leave." Emily smiled "I might even take you up on that offer of dinner"

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 **So let me know what you think in the review section... I love to hear your thoughts and feedback.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello guys,**

 **So I have a couple of things I want to say, we're only three chapters in so hang on the answers will come eventually, and I know a couple of you guys are having trouble thinking of why emily left and whether or not it looks real but come on people you don't even know yet and you guys are already jumping to conclusions. Any who THANK YOU for all the support, I hope you enjoy this chapter...**

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"Hanna I don't need you to set me up" Alison said for what felt like the fifth time in the last ten minutes "I'm fine"

"Says the woman who practically spends every Friday night by herself" Hanna huffed, they were having their weekly Thursday night dinner in Alison's house and the blonde had gone on and on about this guy she wanted to introduce Alison to, and no matter how many times Alison had told her she didn't want to get involved with anyone the information seemed to go in through one ear and out the other.

"I'm not by myself, if you hadn't noticed I have a son, with whom I need to spend time with" Alison argued.

"You haven't been on a date since you broke up with Dean" Hanna exhaled taking a sip of her wine.

Dean. The only ' _serious'_ relationship Alison had been in since Jamie was born. She met him in a conference in Seattle about two years ago and they began seeing each other practically ever since. However, they had broken things off a couple of weeks ago when Dean had proposed and Alison had declined, arguing that she wasn't ready for that sort of commitment and that she had to think about what was best for Jamie.

" _ **Come on Al, please"**_

" _ **Dean…" The blonde looked at her boyfriend standing on the other side of the kitchen island, "I mean… it's just-"**_

" _ **It's just what?!" Dean exhaled as he ran his hand through his hair, "And don't tell me it's all really sudden like I didn't think this through"**_

" _ **Dean there's a lot I need to consider before I make a decision like this" The blonde sighed "There's Jamie-"**_

" _ **Don't use Jamie as an excuse" He shook his head, "You know I love spending time with him and he loves spending time with me, so don't use him as an excuse to turn me down"**_

" _ **I'm not"**_

" _ **Then why won't you marry me?" Dean asked desperately, "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you"**_

" _ **Dean I can't get married, I'm not ready. Not yet" Alison sighed before she walked over to him, taking his hands in hers.**_

 _ **Dean closed his eyes before he snatched his hands away "Then I can't do this, not anymore"**_

"She did only break up with Dean two months ago" Aria pointed out, earning a grateful glance from Alison.

"Exactly, two months is a long time" Hanna exhaled "I swear you'll like him"

Thankfully before the conversation could go any further a panicked Jamie jogged into the room, followed by the wail of Hanna's ten month old.

"Mommy Chloe's cwying" the four year old stated reaching his mother's lap, "I promise I didn't do anything, I was even watching TV with her"

"Don't worry Jamie, she probably just wants to get out of her chair" Hanna chuckled before she stood up from her chair, disappearing as she made her way to the living room, not that it was a shock but the blonde was right and practically as soon as Hanna picked her up the crying ceased.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed" Alison started running her hand through her son's messy hair.

"But mommy…" Jamie whined trying his best to repress a yawn "I'm not tired"

"It's not up for discussion young man" Alison stood up taking her son's hand "I'll be right back"

It was barely twenty minutes later when Alison went back downstairs because as usual it took Jamie barely two minutes to fall asleep once his head touched the pillow. The blonde found a newly arrived Mona and the four girls sitting back down on the table cooing at a very awake Chloe. Mona was a rather new addition to their group considering it hadn't been that long since their brain actually recognized said brunette as a friend.

"What are you guys talking about?" Alison asked as she sat back down on the table.

"Nothing really, is Jamie asleep?" Mona took the deck of cards shuffling them.

"Out like a light" The blonde chuckled as she watched the brunette sitting next to her hand out the cards, "So have you heard from Emily since the funeral?"

Spencer practically choked on her drink at the sudden question, Hanna and Aria looked shocked being caught off guard while Mona eyed them confused, she had been had only come back to town after being away for three weeks and she had yet to learn about the little meeting in the funeral four days ago.

"Emily came back to town?" Mona inquired suspiciously.

"So have you?" Alison asked once more not looking up from her deck of cards, completely ignoring Mona's question.

"No, we haven't. She probably left town right after" Spencer informed.

"Emily's back in town?!" Mona urged again, and Hanna eyed her dangerously as if trying to get her to shut up. Even after all these years it was still hard for them to know how to talk about Emily in front of the blonde, too scared to cause her any unnecessary pain.

" _ **I still can't believe she left" Hanna repeated for the fourth time, from her place on the couch in front of Spencer.**_

" _ **I know Hanna, you've said it four times in the last two minutes" The brunette sighed "I'm just as shocked as you are"**_

" _ **But they're having a baby" The blonde kept fidgeting with her wedding ring, looking down intently at it, "the only reason Ali is having this baby is because Emily asked her too, and now Emily is gone, what if she doesn't want him anymore?"**_

" _ **Don't." Spencer snapped sternly "Don't even go there"**_

"Yeah" Alison exhaled "and Hanna you can let Mona ask about her, I can handle it" she added catching Hanna off guard.

"No, no I know that" Hanna mumbled "I just-"

"You just want to protect me, I get it" Alison smiled "All I'm saying is that it's not necessary. I think that after everything that has happened I can handle Emily"

"We don't doubt you can handle her, we just think that you don't need a constant reminder of her" Spencer sighed. "Not after she left"

"Why did she leave?" Mona inquired, to be completely honest she had never really heard the whole story; mainly because she became friends with Alison way after the brunette had left but also because at the time she was locked up at Welby and when she got out Emily was long gone and no one wanted to talk about it.

"I don't know" Alison mumbled before she looked up "All we know is she left without saying goodbye"

-x-

The dim moonlight was the only thing illuminating her path as she made her path as she made her way through the dark. It had been a really long time since she had been here, yet that didn't mean they weren't in her mind all the time. The last time she had walked down this road was one week before she left town, and three months after her mom died. Finally reaching her destination she took a deep breath before she kneeled down in front of their tombstones, - _Pam and Wayne Fields_ -; just being here brought tears to her eyes because she missed them. A lot.

"I know I haven't been here in a really long time, but I haven't been in town for a while, four years actually." The brunette whispered gently stroking her mother's tombstone, "I thought I was doing the right thing but I'm not so sure anymore."

 _ **She kept looking at her watch, she knew Alison would be back any minute now and she needed to be out of here before she arrived. She knew it was hard enough as it was, the last thing Emily needed was to face her. She couldn't because she knew that if she saw her, if she saw the blonde, she would change her mind. And she couldn't risk it.**_

"I know I promised I wouldn't let anybody hurt them" Emily sighed and by now tears were running down her cheeks "But apparently I ended up hurting them even more."

 _ **The cancer had taken all of them by surprise, how quickly it spread and how fast it had drained the life out of her. Yet, nothing the doctors could say or do could make the brunette lose that one last ray of hope, that little glint of light that kept her convinced her mom would get better. So she lived one day at a time and she didn't let anybody, not even Alison, talk to her about the cancer or how bad it had gotten.**_

" _ **Emmy you have to listen to what the doctors are saying" Pam exhaled from her place on the hospital bed, reaching out to place her hand on top of her daughter's, "The cancer spread to my pancreas, there's not much they can do"**_

" _ **No" The brunette shook her head furiously, crudely getting off the bed, "No, there has to be something else they can do, if not here then maybe we can find another hospital or a medical trial, there has to be something we can do"**_

" _ **Emily, sweetheart…" Pam said lovingly, "There's nothing else we can do"**_

" _ **Mom, please. We can't give up" Emily pleaded her eyes swimming in tears "I can't lose you too"**_

 _ **Pam sighed reaching her hand out in the air, as a silent plea for her daughter to take it. Which she did, and before she even knew it the brunette was sitting back in the bed next to her mom.**_

" _ **We knew this day might come" Emily shook her head so her mother spoke once more, "And I know how scary it may seem but it's time"**_

" _ **Time?! Mom it's been three months" A tear ran down her cheek.**_

" _ **Three months I've spent more time in this hospital than in my own house" Pam gently squeezed her daughter's hand. "And you've spent more time in this hospital than in your house, you've seen more of my doctor than of your fiance"**_

" _ **Ali understands"**_

" _ **She's having a baby Emmy" Pam smiled her eyes now full of tears too, "Your baby"**_

" _ **Exactly, you're going to be a grandma" The brunette wiped away the tears running down her cheeks, "Don't you want to meet him?"**_

" _ **You know there's nothing I would love more" Pam sadly smiled "But I'm running out of time, so there's something I need you to promise me"**_

" _ **Mom…"**_

" _ **You're about to start a family, you're going to become a mother, and although it is the most amazing thing that can happen to you, it's also an enormous responsibility" Emily nodded before her mother continued "So you need to protect them, because once this child is born it's up to you and Alison to give it it's best shot, no matter what it takes"**_

" _ **I know" The brunette stated, "I know that"**_

" _ **Then promise me you'll protect them, no matter what it takes"**_

" _ **I promise"**_

The sound of a breaking twig made the sobbing brunette jump, and turning around she found an old acquaintance standing behind her and without thinking it twice Emily got up on her feet whipping clean her tear stained cheeks.

"Jenna."

"You're back"

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 **Remember to let me know what you thought of the chapter in the review section :)**


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